Just turned 39 and don’t feel a day over 25. Age is a crazy thing, it just keeps going whether you want it to or not. One minute I’m three and wondering around our Idaho property following our big Husky, the next I’m 18 and wrestling every weekend, the next I’m married with four kids and all of the sudden my oldest is 14 and I’m in Seattle starting a church.
Where does it all go. It seems time passes just about as fast as that paragraph describes my entire life. It’s funny how people hold an image in their head about you. I am just recently making some new acquaintances with old high school friends, actually they probably wouldn’t have called me their friend back then, but because they are my friend on the fabulous Facebook, we are good pals now. Whatever.
In their head they still see Keith Carpenter at a whopping 130 lb, all wrestler physic. They probably wouldn’t recognize me if they walked past. It goes with attitudes also, I am sure many who haven’t seen me in years still attribute my teenage personality to ancient 39 years. But, oh how time can change even that.
Sometimes, especially recently, I have notice that I have become much more serious about life, maybe for the good and maybe for the bad. I am sure the burdens of planting a church in a major American city, caring and protecting my family, feeling responsible for those who came with us, feeling like I don’t know enough, spending hours meditating and writing on doctrine and theology, and truly discovering why I believe what I believe, and being pressed in on by the enemy, has something to do with it.
But I don’t want to be all serious and not laugh. I don’t want to be a grumpy old Christian who doesn’t find anything funny any more, because I have taken or been thrust into a heavy load and much responsibility. I want to continue to be able to see the beauty in life and laugh at the small stuff and and the big stuff. I have been finding myself falling asleep at night expecting God to work in our lives the next day but know that I have so much to do and at any moment our money could run out and we would be looking at a forecloser in the face.
Although, at the same time I do not worry. I am so confident that we are doing the right thing. God has continually made it clear that we are in the right place at the right time.
Maybe I just need to lean on him more and less on my own strength and abilities and finding confidence in what he is doing in my life and the life of Epic Life Church. Maybe it’s not as bad as I am making it.
I just feel serious about everything right now and honestly, it kind of bothers me.
Birthday #39. Seriously I love my age, my cup is running over and God is my Father. This is the year to Live an Epic Life.
Well…that is probably the most personal I will ever get here in my blog.